My Mom & Death
Brothers,
Recently read Robert Masters' book Darkness Shining Wild. One of his themes is bringing Death out of the closet. Into our everyday lives. Being present to Death. As some of you "older veterans" may recall I was with my Dad during his dying from cancer. That was a cathartic event that catapulted me into the workshop I jokingly refer to as "Nightmare in the City." Now my Mom is going down. After 3 years of battling cancer, almost dying the same year my Dad died, after going into remission & getting better, the tumors have returned and spread with a vengeance. She's terminal, tho aren't we all. Supposedly she has less than 5-6 months left. Who knows? She is in somuch pain now. The fury of the pain blinds her at times and robs her of her dignity. We think we're going to die a certain way, looking good as we go, but often we don't. My dad's death taught me we leave this world as messy as we enter it. Covered in blood and shit. I will be at the Men's Group this Monday, and then fly out to Virginia for awhile, and then again this fall. My Mother's looming death feels like some kind of initiatory bookend. At times this woman was a horror and yet she gave me everything. Life. Love. I don't quite know what to do except to go into it. And unlike some terminally ill folks she does not want to die. She wants to hang on to every breath she takes.
From an Email to Passion Warriors WarriorSage Men’s Group, Wednesday, June 21, 2006
P.S. I am no longer affiliated with this men's group or with Warrior Sage. It has served its purpose during a crucial time in my life and I have since moved on.
William Dudley Bass
November 13, 2008
© by William Dudley Bass
Recently read Robert Masters' book Darkness Shining Wild. One of his themes is bringing Death out of the closet. Into our everyday lives. Being present to Death. As some of you "older veterans" may recall I was with my Dad during his dying from cancer. That was a cathartic event that catapulted me into the workshop I jokingly refer to as "Nightmare in the City." Now my Mom is going down. After 3 years of battling cancer, almost dying the same year my Dad died, after going into remission & getting better, the tumors have returned and spread with a vengeance. She's terminal, tho aren't we all. Supposedly she has less than 5-6 months left. Who knows? She is in somuch pain now. The fury of the pain blinds her at times and robs her of her dignity. We think we're going to die a certain way, looking good as we go, but often we don't. My dad's death taught me we leave this world as messy as we enter it. Covered in blood and shit. I will be at the Men's Group this Monday, and then fly out to Virginia for awhile, and then again this fall. My Mother's looming death feels like some kind of initiatory bookend. At times this woman was a horror and yet she gave me everything. Life. Love. I don't quite know what to do except to go into it. And unlike some terminally ill folks she does not want to die. She wants to hang on to every breath she takes.
From an Email to Passion Warriors WarriorSage Men’s Group, Wednesday, June 21, 2006
P.S. I am no longer affiliated with this men's group or with Warrior Sage. It has served its purpose during a crucial time in my life and I have since moved on.
William Dudley Bass
November 13, 2008
© by William Dudley Bass
posted by William Dudley Bass at 3:25 PM
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